How can you stop getting bullied?
I was younger than a teen, but my solution worked wonders. Probably 4th grade? Hard to remember.
Of course there were always bullies, and there always will be bullies. Boohoo. I got bullied, and I had to deal with it. Here’s how.
Every day coming home from school, the bullies picked on me without end on the bus. Then when I got off the bus, they put their faces up to the top windows and continued to hurl their insults.
After ages of this and me just soaking it all in, my father caught wind of what had been happening. He had a stroke of genius which showed me how to deflect the bullies and even profit off of them.
He grabbed a piece of cardboard and a permanent marker, wrote on it, and told me to put it in my backpack. When I got off the bus the next day I was to hold it up for all to see.
The next day came and went, and as I dismounted the school bus I reached into my backpack and held up the sign as the insults started to fly.
Then they stopped for a second.
Then they roared with laughter.
Then it rained money.
My father had written “JUST THROW MONEY” on the cardboard sign.
Quarters, dimes, nickels, everything came showering out of the bus windows. I think the fact that they could throw something at me also made it fun for the bullies. So the bus pulled away and I picked up a few bucks’ worth of spare change from the bottom of the driveway.
Being the early 90s I remember I made at least enough to buy Nutter Butter bars every day (my fave) from the school snack bar for a couple of weeks!
After the third day of doing this, the bullies not only got bored (the joke got old), but I think they had realized the financial implications of their rage. It was like I had just taxed their stupidity. Needless to say, the incessant bus-bullying came to an end as I was no longer a fun target.
The lesson my father taught me here was that you don’t have to fight bullies, nor take their punishment and be helpless (yes, there is a time to fight, but not in this situation).
You can outsmart them.
You can troll the trolls.
I love that lesson and still use it today.