Child discipline
Okay, this is evil but I was babysitting a little Christian kid named “Dylan”. He was aware that I was ethnically Jewish, and had concluded that it meant I was related to Jesus. He was six, time didn’t really make that much sense to him.
So some days, he was a complete brat at times, and finally, enough was enough.
So I downloaded a picture of Jesus like this onto my phone and got my friend with a deep voice to help out.
So the next time Dylan bratted out, I said Jesus was watching and subtly sent a text to my friend.
My phone suddenly rang, and that picture came up, along with the words “Cousin Jesus.” I made sure Dylan could see that. His eyes were wide.
I turned it on speaker.
“Is that Dylan misbehaving again? I saw him talk back to you. He’s the one wearing a red shirt and blue jeans and white high high top sneakers at (address)?” (All details were texted).
Dylan is as pale as a sheet.
“I was just meeting with Santa, to discuss the naughty list. Should Dylan be getting socks and textbooks for Christmas?” my friend says.
Dylan is in tears. “NO! Please, I’ll be good.”
“Okay. I’ll be watching,” said Jesus, before hanging up.
Dylan was an angel for months, and yes, his mother knew and approved.
